I was always taught to forgive others so I would be treated mercifully and not carry around bad feelings.
But because I always carry around feelings, it is not so simple. Also, the ones who treat you badly because they can, don’t seem to have to wrestle with these issues.
My brand of madness means that I obsess and don’t forget the negative experiences and behaviors. They collect like dust bunnies and crowd the deepest corners of my mind.
Are you able to forgive? Does that mean that you can forget? If you know how, could you teach me?
With depression and anxiety, sometimes things can take so much longer. My anxiety outweighs my adrenaline sometimes and speeds it from that place of energy and fun to fear and dread.
I am not trying to be dramatic; my brain just takes things very seriously. In efforts to be friendlier to people who have shut me down before, I find that I am still not getting eye contact and a door closes.
Other people don’t care. They figure screw them and the horse they rode in on. If they don’t want to know you, it is too bad.
I understand and have heard all the rhetoric. The problem is that my head and heart don’t brush it off. Being so sensitive gives people a really easy way to kick me when I am down (some do it on purpose, nasty as that sounds). I keep patching, but the heart still has the bruises and scars.
Are you able to brush things off easily? Or do you take things to heart and hold on to them?