Daily Prompt: Everything Changes
Walking down the street, you encounter a folded piece of paper on the sidewalk. You pick it up and read it and immediately, your life has changed. Describe this experience.
I saw the piece of paper. Not wanting to miss some mystical note from Spirit or cause someone else to pick up the paper that was too large to miss, I lifted and unfolded it.
On the paper was a list of medications. I knew each of them; some I had taken and some I had read about. Now I knew that the efforts that you made to change your life or how you cared for yourself were rooted in a diagnosis.
The diagnosis was frightening because you were told that there is no cure. Additionally, it could manifest in a myriad of ways and, unpredictably, it would occur at random times following the unknown rhythm and whims of the Universe.
I understood that you were scared and afraid. These medications could have various side effects but it was either take these or risk further danger. You deserved comfort and empathy that you were not alone. Your worries and anxiety could cause further panic and there would be no clear place to seek information. So many books, so many questions, and yet, so few answers.
Your prescription had to be filled and you would need to visit the doctor every two weeks in the beginning and then longer periods of time if you were holding your own. You would have to be vigilant of your symptoms and share the messages of your body and mind with your family or friends. People would look at you funny, but they would look just the same. Your disease is not your fault but no one believes that. Someone will say to “Snap out of it” and to “Count Your Blessings.” If you can hold down a job, then you are functioning.
But I also know that the list of medications means that your life will never be the same. You will continue to question yourself and your behaviors. Self doubt will creep in and courage will not be enough. Each tear that falls will be judged and considered over and over. You will have days that you will not want to get out of bed. There will be times when you may need to go to a hospital or call 911 to get the help that you need. The terror of those days possibly happening will play games with your mind.
Your nights will be filled with fear and longing for “normality.” Your questions will be without end and your self-esteem will plummet. Your strengths will be doubted and your weaknesses multiplied.
You will need a hug and a shoulder to cry upon. You will need someone to listen to your symptoms and make changes if you are able.
Sadly, though I see your list of medications, mere words on a page, I know what they are. You are one of us and I am part of your community. We will seek others from the isolation of our homes, in anonymous chat rooms, and compare symptoms.
The hardest part of those words I am reading cause me to look at you with different eyes but it also affirms that I cannot say a word to you about your secret. We all carry one and this one is yours. Everything changes in a moment and you have to bear this alone.
Now I know why you threw this paper to the ground. It is the only choice you get to make for yourself, by yourself, for a long time.
Daily Post Writing Challenge August 6, 2013